Sahil Bloom is an inspirational writer and content creator, captivating millions of people every week through his social insights and bi-weekly newsletter, The Curiosity Chronicle.
Guest Author: Sahil Bloom
Harsh truth: Networking is dead…
4 principles of Anti-Networking (everyone should read this):
You don’t get anywhere by accumulating thousands of transactional personal and professional connections. You get somewhere by building genuine relationships.
Those who invest in building (rather than networking) will reap the most valuable long-term rewards—health, wealth, and happiness.
Here are my four core “anti-networking” principles that anyone can use:
Principle 1: Find Value Aligned Rooms
Put yourself into rooms with a high density of value-aligned individuals. What this means: Think about your core values, hobbies, professional and personal interests, and then consider what “rooms” are likely to filter for people with a similar set.
If I were passionate about fitness and health, I would frequent the local farmer’s market, the early morning hours at the gym, and local hiking trails.
If I were focused on my career in marketing, I would look up any local marketing mixers or events and attend any social media or creator conferences.
Place yourself into the right rooms and you’ll already be well-positioned to build new relationships.
Principle 2: Ask Engaging Questions
I have a few go-to questions that I have found create reliably engaging discourse:
• What’s your connection to [insert current place or event]?
• What are you most excited about currently?
• What’s lighting you up outside of work?
• What’s your favorite book you’ve read recently?
Note: Always avoid “What do you do?” as a question. It’s generic and generally gets you a cookie-cutter, automated response, or an uncomfortable one if the person doesn’t feel proud of their work.
Principle 3: Become a Level 2-3 Listener
At Level 1, you’re waiting to talk. At Level 2 and 3, you’re listening to learn and understand the other person. Most people default to Level 1 listening—but if you want to build new, genuine relationships, you have to live in Level 2 and Level 3.
As you listen, make mental notes of a few pertinent facts about the person, their interests, or anything else that jumps out to you.
These will become relevant alongside Principle 4.
Principle 4: Use Creative Follow Ups
Following the conversation, log the mental notes you made and create a plan to follow up in the days ahead.
A few ideas for thoughtful, creative follow-ups:
• Send the person a book you loved.
• Share an article or podcast they’ll love for a specific reason.
• Offer to connect them to someone given a shared interest.
The aim is to show that you were listening intently and that you took the initiative to follow up.
Use these four principles of “anti-networking” and start building genuine relationships—they will pay dividends in all areas of your life for many years to come.
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