This is a post by Jesse Pujji. Jessi a serial entrepreneur that lives in the US. He has:
- Bootstrapped to an 8-figure exist with his previous startup, Ampush
- Is currently building GatewayX, a venture studio that he plans to bootstrap to $1B+
- Executive Chairman & Founder of GrowthAssistant.com
- ex-McKinsey Consultant
Guest Author: Jesse Pujji
Do you struggle to celebrate wins? Does worry creep into your mind at the best moments?
You have the same problem all humans do.
And it’s keeping you down.
Here’s what it is and how to break it
Each person has an inner thermostat of success/happiness that was set for us as children.
When we exceed our “setting,” we unconsciously self-sabotage to come back to the familiar temperature.
The classic example: lotto winners.
Most lotto winnersreport similar or LOWER happiness 5-10 years post win.
So much “success” in one area overwhelms their neurosis and they bring themselves down in other ways.
Why do we do this?
Gay Hendricks tackles this in his book The Big Leap. My coach Dave taught me about it.
Let’s unpack
We create Upper Limits because of some combination of 4 barriers:
1) Feeling fundamentally flawed
“The biggest and most widely shared fear is that we feel there is something fundamentally wrong with us and we are undeserving/worthy of great success and happiness”
We hold ourselves back because we believe we don’t deserve it.
2) Disloyalty and Abandonment
If I am successful, that will be leaving people behind who have been there for me.
We fear too much success is abandoning our roots and will leave us alone.
That’s why celebs have entourages, they feel like they’ll end up alone.
3) More success = More burden.
Remember the Biggie song, mo money mo problems?
Your brain: “I can’t expand to my highest potential because I’d be an even bigger burden than I am now”
4) Fear of Outshining.
Classic in gifted kids with siblings. They are taught that if they shine too much, others will look or feel bad. Success triggers this fear.
BUT
You can fix this.
First, build awareness. Try to notice when you engage in negative thoughts, self-talk, and behaviours. Slow down and take a breath. Start noticing the outer edges of your thermostat.
Remember, be gentle with yourself. Your thermostat has been set through YEARS of conditioning. It’ll take a second to fix.
Then start inserting positive self-talk. Affirmations.
And let yourself savor the good feelings. It’ll help expand your tolerance for good things in your life.
Lastly, live in your Zone of Genius: Not just what you’re good at but what also gives you ENERGY. See below.
Try these out. I hope it helps
